I'm pretty sure everyone has heard the saying "Everything happens for a reason". I am a believer of that, don't get me wrong, but I am still trying to figure out the finer details. I find myself questioning whether or not certain things happen by fate or if I have the power to control these big events.
Recently, I've been deciding where to take my life: What colleges do I apply to? After that, where do I attend? Do I declare the major I want now, or wait a little while? Will I be able to do what I want to do? For goodness sake, what color am I going to wear to senior homecoming and prom?! It may sound silly to some, but some these choices I'm making are going to indefinitely impact my life in a HUGE way. I'm not necessarily worried, (okay, I'm a little concerned about the whole dress situation), but it really got me thinking about how events in life occur.
Some people believe that God's will is already made. That He has complete control over what happens in your life. They explain it as a sort of book, He has already written what you will go through in your life and there is no changing the details. Even non-religious people I've spoken with have toyed with the thought that our lives may be predetermined and we are just along for the ride. I used to believe that way, but now I'm leaning towards the other side.
Free will is what I'm starting to put my faith into. Let me tell you, it took a lot of thinking, reading, and reasoning to get to this point. This is the thought that finally got me close to the edge: If you buy a used car, and then find out that it's damaged, who do you blame? Either the previous owner or dealer, correct? You wouldn't blame the original producer of the car, because chances are it was created in close to perfect condition. I believe the same goes for people. In my personal belief, God created Adam and Eve as perfect people. Eventually it was temptations that ruined that purity and made them flawed. Now, the question is this..did God predetermine the actions of Eve and the serpent? Was Eve just following a plan that was already made or did she create her own will? That's where I got stuck. There is no true way of knowing whether or not we have free will as children of God. Some may say, "go read your Bible, and you'll find your answer". I took that advice, the realized the Bible is based on individual interpretation. With my viewing of it, it's still not crystal clear.
Then I got to thinking about something I heard someone say years and years ago, something I never really thought about until I was in this rut. "Non believers have the argument of 'If there really is a God, why does He let bad things happen?' I always reply to this as 'What if He's asking you the exact same thing?'" After days of thought, I had finally fallen over the edge into free will. It makes sense..why would God clean up all of our dirty work unless He created it? I started to believe that it was us, as humans, who had corrupted ourselves and created a less than perfect world. With each and every generation, more corruption happens. I believe we have the will to do what's right or what's wrong. Although we may not know what is right or wrong in the eyes of the Lord, I still feel we have that choice, nonetheless.
Now, back to those big decisions, with my belief, am I doomed to be extremely stressed over my indecisiveness until the end of senior year? Possibly. Or should I trust in God that He will help lead me to the path that's right for me? This is the tricky part that I have yet to completely understand. Is there any influence from God to help us make a decision? Can we rely on Him to help us make the best possible decision? I think, yes. People of all religions that believe in a higher power rely and put trust in that power, so why shouldn't they have a direct influence on us?
It may sound kinda crazy, but I think it fits right for me. I have decided to not stress as much about all these life altering decisions that are being thrown my way, and instead, taking them one at a time. I am going to make decisions that feel right to me and I can accept without a doubt. It may take a little longer, but with it I know I'll never have a reason to regret a choice I make during this time. Maybe that alone is the key to making successful choices, regardless of personal beliefs.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" -Mahatma Gandhi
xo,
GL
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